[02-17-2024] varsity plus pre caroline day
woke up and malcolm was tucked into bed on the couch. and i headed out to uptown to climb for a couple hours with amani. literally was so excited bc in my heart i knew i was gonna get wingstop chicken tenders after climbing. literally have been getting so many mukbang tiktoks of wingstop. it was getting crazy.
rockclimbing was so swag and fun. i havent been to uptown in a while so there was a lot of new problems that were up. amani and i swagged out so much. i think we climbed for like 2 hours straight. i ordered wingstop for pick up. and we walked over the the wingstop right next to the wilson stop. the train was otw and the worker literally was walking slow as fuck but we made it to the train. there was a guy who was sexy as fucking waiting next to us.... so sexy. but it is so low to hit on someone at the train station and on the train. like that so loooow. second to the gym.
when we got to my apt.. i started devouring my wingstop and malcolm arrived from going thrifting. and amani and malcom was chatting it up. and then amani was like. hey. caroline come over and chat it up with us. and by that time i ravaged through my wingstop. and i was in my pajamas and in my robe and relaxing on the couch as malcolm and amani's food arrived. malcolm had a sexy uber eats driver.. swag. caroline arrived at my apt.
caroline malcolm and amani talked about caroline lore a lil bit and then talked about extroverted vs introverted ppl and protecting our peace and also... masturbation. very intriguing conversations that revolutionize the planet. very fun. so silly. amani and caroline had to skadaddle to get ready for the next festivities. malcolm and i took naps and i got ready for my concert with merlyn. took some shrooms and i was off to meet merlyn at schuba's.
when i got to schuba's, the guy in the front who was checking id's literally thought my id was fake. he was like "do you have a real id?" and i was like "what do you mean" and he was like "do you have another id? bc this one is fake." and i literaly was like "you got to be kidding me." honestly i dont remember the rest bc what the fuck... anyways he was like ok ur good. n i literally was like what was that about. then just walked into the venue bc merlyn was already inside
no one was in yet so we were talking about werk and how thing were going and she was mentioning how she has been working overtime... literally so crazy.... she was like yeah i am so tired.. whomp. then as more people came in we stood up. there was like a pacifico rep there handing out free beers and only merlyn got one and the rep told me there are more in the back. yay..
the drummer of the opening band 'no star' was so incredibly sexy. like shut the front doooor. like whoa. the rest of the band was pretty ok. one of the guys was pretty cute too. he had a boot on ... so i wonder what happened to him. the opening band was pretty good. i did not know any of their songs bc they are a smaller band but they sounded really good.
merlyn and i were talking about during the break between acts and la la la. a lot more people were now in the venue. it was a sold out show for schubas which is kinda really awesome. and suddenly there were a lot of older people in the crowd... which, later in the show, turns out to be some of the band member's parents. so cool.
varsity was sooo good. they just released a new album and they were playing half of the new album and half of their older songs. i did not listen to the new album honestly bc i just came out yesterday but the old songs sounded so good. they band had really good stage banter and had me giggling a lot. and their performance was so good.. there were times the older songs were so good and nostalgic for me i almost started crying and merlyn was like me too.
after the concert, amani, alina, caroline, emiko and malcolm all coralled together in the schubas bar and we had a lil pow wow for caroline's chill bday celebration. lots of kiki'ing. merlyn bought me a drink and i had to go all the way to the end of the bar to show my wrist band... n i was like ok werk. but oh well. we talk talk talk... honestly i cant remember much of the conversation bc it was like ... super light girl talk. found out amani and emiko were roommate freshmen year and caroline and willa were another pair in their dorm. emiko is now planning on doing karaoke for her bday. but still does not know which day she will do it. n malcolm needs to decide what he will do as well.
clock struck almost midnight and me, merlyn and i were hungry... but no one else wanted to go get food so we talked to late night thai two blocks down. and it was so goddam cold like oh my god its so cold. we ordered out food and merlyn uber'd and added a stop for my place. the ubers took forever to come but swagness. got home and devoured la food. schlept.
[02-08-2024] werk werk werk
came in a lil late today.. the train i got to was way too full.. so i just waited for the next one. werk werk werked.
at some point both marilyn and meghan came over to my desk and was like oh my god.. there are free apple juices... lets go look... and i got up and followed them to the commons. then boom. i saw that avyn was sitting there waiting for his health screening thing. n i was like oh my god wow... n just turned around. so silly. it would have looked so bad if avyn saw me with marilyn and meghan like. it was soooo elementary school. funny retrospect tho.
werk werk werk'd more. had a bunch of meetings in the morning and then in the afternoon i was self-reviewing a lot of stuff formally. bleh.
after werk janna and i headed to block 37 to meet up with amani. and we climbed a bit. it was definitely an off week bc it was still not so busy but we did not do many problems each. we talked about how much time having a significant other takes up and we talked about the different types of attachment type we have... especially in relationships... la la la talked about astrology and stuff and then ... told jenna about the recent BIT BOOTH developments... then we decided to call it quits... and head out. it started to randomly rain really hard but then by the time we were all leaving it wasn't too bad.
amani and i took the brown line up and i headed to my apt... rotted on the couch for a bit then finally got up to eat and take a shower. doing some light cleaning for the weekend. now finishing up journalign before i finish up cleaning and cooking lunch tmrw... then if i still have time i'm gonna play around my dj deck a lil bit. adios.
[02-07-2024] touch point and climbing
at work today i had a meeting with my manager to talk about my workload and other work buzz words. i told him how i will be in california in march and was wondering if i could get a contact for someoen in that office that i could meet with. also... didnt have much work to do today.. but oh well. had a call with an engineer overseas and he went over all the client comments he worked on. he was giggly and fun so i'm glad it wasnt soo serious with him.
had lunch with jenna, luis, mae lin, sophia, esme and michael. something something talked about work something about my salary.. something about mae lin's school. ended up taking a full hour for lunch. oops! when jenna and i were going back up, we stopped by a lower floor to check if cc's tamales were there. she wasnt in office so i had to message her separately to see if it was ok if jenna could take some tamales.
la la la not much happening at work... only got the go ahead to work on something right as the day was wrapping up... but i finished it in time to head out to block 37. i walked with marilyn and we discussed how jose and monica did not invite her to tacos yesterday. and how her workshop went yesterday. i told her i thought the workshop was how to wrap a hijab and she laughed hard. and i told her how avyn never responded to me dm. literally so nauseating. but she was like. maybe he's just not on instagram. sophia also said that too (yesterday or something). GYAHH!! hate it.
since i took a big detour i met amani a litle later than i expected and she was warming up with some pilates. she was feeling a lil sick so the climb sessions wasnt soo hard today. but for some reason there were so many ppl. and a whole lot of ppl i did not recognize at all.... literally who are you people.
we wrapped up climbing and headed north. i waited at my train station to transfer trains with amani so i could go one stop up to pick up my dj deck that arrived today!!! wooo!!! got home, put down my dj deck, ate some food bc i was starving and i headed to trader joe's to do some grocery shopping. had a quick conversation with the cashier about how ppl stay so late even after close and she was telling me the latest a customer stayed after is 25 min... after close. i walked home and i had to rot for a second... was laying down for a good.. hour and a half.. maybe 2 hours.
i got up, showered, cooked my lunch for tmrw, and now finished playing neopets for a bit and wrapping up this journal entry. now i am gonna set up my dj deck... so excited.
[02-06-2024] tacoz
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[02-05-2024] audit and ayce sushi
woke up... n happened to take a lil bit of a later train. kinda hoping was going to be in the same elevator as ... avyn that did not happen. so silly of me. but i did end up getting to work right at the end of the BPN black history month commencement. i missed both adonna and tim's speeches.... whomp. but i talked to jordan and joe and adonna for a bit.
around lunch i had a two hour meeting... to audit a project i worked on... literally was so nervous. but it was not that bad. it was mostly my project lead talking... and i was there to pick up some random details. but i was still nervous to talk about stuff... definitely voice cracked at the beginning of the meeting. but i got the hang out it ... over the course of the two hours.
right at 4:30 i skaddled bc my brain could not do it anymore. i went over to first ascent and started climbing about and hour before amani came by. and literaly the first problem i tried with amani there, i literally fell bad. like baddddd. so embarassing thank god all the crazy climbers were not around anymore but goddam.
we climbed a good bit, there were a couple new problems scattered around and we cleared them with ease. WITH EASE. we are getting goood yaaas. after we climbed we headed over to koi sushi. it was a long ass walk after the brown line. but it was finally time for all you can eat sushi. i was so excited.
during dinner. amani and i had so many crazy BIT BOOTH revelations. like literally we reached more and more epiphanies back to back to back. i think the sushi definitely made us slap happy at one point. but dam. we were expanding the BIT BOOTH universe. once again over a meal. so many great additions to the BIT BIBLE. great steam coming off hanging out with arieon yesterday. literally so excited for the rest of the year.
otw the way home, amani and i walked back to the brown line and i was sooo full the entire time. literally the verge of throwing up. but we made it to the armitage stop and there was a girl there that recognized me. i definitely do not remember ever meeting her... but she knew me bc of janna somehow. and we got on the same train car. and we both got out on fullerton. i genuinely did not remember how i know her.
as i was walking to my apt, there was a girl skater trying to skate down the sidewalk but she could not... do it for a long time so i kept catching up to her and it was sooo awkward. like she definitely knew i was right behind her. and she kept veering off... and getting off. oh my god it was sooo awkward and like ..i was walking the same way... she looked cooled but goddam i got second hand embarassment.
literally got home and i could not move. i had to literally lay down. and i had to take a quick nap bc i literally was way too full. i couldnt. finally up and right when i tried to play neopets... they are down for maintenance. wooowww.... of course. oh well.
[02-04-2024] clothing swap
i originally i wanted to go to cafe deko right when i woke up... but sleeping in felt so good.. and i took a while to get out of bed. #tiktokgotme. and when i was getting ready for breakfast, i realized i dont have any more peanut butter. so i made a instacart order for some more peanut butter and other stuff.
i decided to stay in my apartment for a bit and jump rope, play neopets and settle other affairs as i waited for my instacart order. la la la . i also took a nap after getting my order. then arieon texted me to go to a clothing swap later and i was down since i did not have any other plans for the day.
i took a quick nap. again felt sooo good. then after then i got ready pretty quickly. and picked out clothes i wanted to donate to the clothing swap. right around 2pm i decided to go to cafe deko to try to get a table and journal more but in public this time. but right when i got inside it was just as busy as it was when i went with malcolm around like 11am/12pm. like whoa. will they ever not be so busy. oh well
i got a dirty chai with just one shot of espresso. and was like dam. fuck it. i will just walk around my neighborhood. i had like one stalk of shrooms so i have having a good time just walking around in the sun. i got back to my apartment and just started journaling a bit. i got a text from arieon saying that are at cafe deko with no more cell signal bc their mom changed their phone plan and their phone was no longer working. it was about and hour since i went to cafe deko myself so i grabbed my clothing swap stuff and headed to cafe deko.
[02-03-2024] cafe time
woke up and got ready. i ate a big as breakfast. then i headed to vigo cafe. i figured that if i am going to sit on my computer and play neopets and journal, i might as well go to a cafe to do it.
last time that malcolm and i went to cafe deko last week the cafe was way too packed so i figured i'll go to vigo cafe and boom. there was a seat open right next to an outlet if i needed to charge. as i ordered i asked the barista if there were any stickers or anything with the cool as logo on it... but they didnt have any in stock anymore.
i wanted to do shrooms before i left but i completely forgot to take them but i mainly wanted to sit in the cafe just in case i meet someone. literally on the way to the cafe i got a tarot card reading tiktok that i will find a prince who will change my life .... interesting.
i ordered a dirty chai and it was decent. double shot. and i played neopets. apparently i forgot to do my daily quests yesterday... but i guess neopets changed the weekly reward feature so that it wont reset if u mess up ur streak which is nice bc apparently i have broken this exact streak like 3 times. like dam.
after playing neopets i journaled about the day before and it took the entire hour. like dam. as you can tell i went into great detail about yesterday. i think as soon as i started journaling, a group of bro-y guys came and were sitting on the couch right next to me.... none of them were cute as i could tell in my peripheral vision.
i was planning on watching argylle with merlyn later tonight but i also figured i could watch a movie bc it's still early today. so i decided to catch a showtime of all of us strangers. and right as i was ready to leave the red line train was scheduled to leave one minute before i got there. i hate running for trains, so i didn't. right as i got to the station, the train did in fact leave. but oh well. just waited for the next one.
when i was walking into amc new city. meghan from work was leaving with her friend. and i was telling her how i requested avyn's ig. and how i talked to marilyn about him yesterday. we were talking about how much of a small world it is, bc another person who knew meghan was walking in and hugged meghan. love meghan bad and went ahead into my movie.
oh my god. all of us strangers was so fucking good. i had no idea it was going to be that incredibly sad. i thought it was going to be a regular gay movie. but BOOM. it kept coming and coming and coming. i am so glad i did not take any shrooms bc i would have been wailing so bad. i was crying basically all movie long. and oh my god. the entire movie theater was sobbing bad. like i could hear the person like 3 seats away from me sniffling so bad.
the movie was literally sooo good. i am not too sure if i would watch it again but goddam it was such a beautiful movie . beautiful soundtrack. beautiful story. literally left a hole in my heart so bad. but genuinely such a good movie.
i got home and took a nap. i was supposed to meet merlyn at 7pm but she told me we gotta push it back to 8:30. i took a fat nap and it felt soooo good. i woke up and was checking merlyn's location and she just got to her apt around 8. i was getting on my computer to play a lil more neopets and play just a lil bit of overwatched and merlyn called me. and she was feeling really sick and did not feel well enough to go out. and i was like no worries hehe
i was gathering all my tax docuemnts to file my taxes. and that was already so stressful for me. like ugh im so scared of doing my own taxes. but that was all i wanted to do. #schlept.
[02-02-2024] dinner time
was actually a bit early for work. got there had answered as couple questions that i got emails about early in the day as i was getting ready.
donut club and we talked about uhmmm... intern stuff and how some of them are getting bolder and bolder.. and sophia mentioned i should apply to lead the intern program this summer... interesting thought.
i finished up a couple things and then i realized i literally had nothing to do for a while. we had an all hands meeting for a couple of the departments and i sat with jenna and that one guy from a different group. sophia (previously the intern) sat next to jenna. ross had originally sat there but was grabbing food. was sad that sophia sat next to us. and jenna immediately was like who is this girl. she is so annoying hehe.
the all hands meeting was kinda boring but we got to the account update and i started getting sweaty badddd. my client had a quick mention and our account manager presented. slight mention about how our client is a difficult account etc etc... soo nervous.
after the all hands meeting i really did not have anything to do. after working for like 1 hour at a time and then would walk around. i talked to marilyn about the avyn a bit. he sat next to isaac in the all hands meeting. but really only a couple seats next to me. gyaaahhh. internal conflict for real.
i messaged jenna about it but avyn and she was like. he's not cute so... dont worry this much about a guy that i am not super interested in . and i was definitely... just the fact it could be a work fling is what is interesting to me.
as i am leaving for work chris told me about the party celebration thing at skylark he is going to tonight and was like yeah the owners sold the bar but a couple employees got together and bought it to preserve the bar. and i was like. that sound so good.. maybe i'll head there later.
i got out of the elevator and saw marilyn and meghan just outside the office doors and i ran across the street to catch up with them. meghan was telling me about the book club she is heading to for today. and i walked with marilyn home. i asked her more about avyn and she was telling me he is such a nice guy. and personally she thinks i should definitely reach out to him. she told me about the time she went out with his group and how avyn was talking about how he had a crush on someone since he started but didn't wanna pursue it since they work at burns. and everyone was like just goooo do it... but obviously he did not reach out to me.... and we talked about his gay accent a bit and she mentioned how her and sophia were wondering if he was gay or not... and i was like.. giggle.
i got home from work and took a nap. well needed nap. i played neopets and got ready. i brought my backpack and ipad bc arieon mentioned we might make vision boards so i was like ok i'll bring my stuff.
i took brown line all the way to juan's to take my w2 that got mailed to his address. before going up i got a botte of procesco from the very first liqour store i went to the night i turned 21. i went up to juan's condo and i talked to him about and played with arlo. but the next train was coming up and i said bye and headed to arieon's apt.
on the way i saw that lola texted the gaymer gc about our thought about religion and i sent an audio message on my personal thoughts on it... something i did recently talk to my therapist about. and i was walking up to arieon's apt from the train resending my audio message bc the train was too loud and u couldnt even hear what i was saying.
i got up to arieon's and i was like... which one do i ring.... so i just texted and called arieon... i didn't wanna knock on some random apt and being wrong. after a second arieon's roommate savannah let me in... swagness. i put stuff away and met arieon in their kitchen.
there was a lot of ppl there but leo was the only other person i knew. in the kitchen i immediately met scarlet and amber. arieon's really sexy friend jermiah was there.. and i was like... whoaaaa..... but i never talked to him. over the course of the night i told arieon about bit booth. and they were like... wait why is that kinda eating. arieon revealved they know how to dj... n i'm like teaaa.
went to the kitchen and met and talked to amber a lot. uchicago stats grad student, 23, taurus. leo was also there. olivia walked in and got their jist. libra, 27, was raised catholic. uhm... almost asked leo what their deadanme was soooo badd.... i felt so bad.. like oops. yeah definitely fucked up.
went back to the living room and talked to ivan and michael. double scoropio couple. so so so gayy like whoa. jermiah was on the couch and talking with leo and scarelt. like tea. i talked to leo more and more about their plans on moving to the city eventually. and how often they drive up the city to hang out.
uhhmmm... met scarlet's partner who is mech eng from u of i. and has an offer from tesla. very cool girl. then this guy came up and started talking about tech this tech that cs this cs that. was soo bored. left the conversation. bc like ew...
sats with ivan, michael, arieon, leo, scarlet and amber. we were talking about controversial topics... la la la my favorite topic. amber had many thoughts on her mind. kinda asked thought provoking questions. and she shared a lot of personal details too.. i can tell she doesnt share much to a lot of ppl so it was really interesting.
leo definitely was getting bored.. but oh well. ivan shared some personal things too. told us about his coming out story and was like only my therapist knows about this. and it was nice to that he was able to share that with us. uhmmm what else. the blondies that someone brought were soooo good.... literally kept eating them. also there were two cats in the apt and my allergies were getting so badddd literally could not breathe.
everyone started leaving and i was the last to leave as i waited for the next train. n i was lemme not overstay my welcome.. but i was the last to arrive... hehe. but goddam i could not breathe. got home and showered good bc i didnt want more cat dander on me. slept like a a baby.
[02-01-2024] hey february
woke up on time for work... but still got there a lil bit later than i wanted...
i talked to dan about his trip to baltimore and learned some more things about our client... whomp whomp whomp... future is not decided fr.
had an hour long meeting with api to plan more about the may event. right before the meeting... two big managers of mine were talking and i didnt wanna be the one who was gonna walk in on them ... bc i had a feeling they were talking about me. we talked about trying to include the interns... and changed our event from trivia to jeopardy... and we talked more and more about random stuff. some superbowl stuff.. uhm some.... lunar new year stuff. yeah... somehow took the entire hour..
then i almost forgot i was going to meet merlyn at sears tower for a lil chat... was in the same elevator as morgan as she went to grab lunch. chat with merlyn did in fact take up an entire hour. we talked about her work and how there... is an overtime metric that directly correlates with their bonus... something freaky. i complained about being unbillable... and how i am sooo scared.
almost forgot i had a meeting at 2pm.. i got back right on time for the meeting... whew... not many updates.
it was time for me to head to therapy. initially i had nothing to talk about but i told her about my bday weekend and then about my converstaion with danny... n she told me how the way i handled the issue was definitely very put together and she is impressed. she told me even older people still have issues with conflict. good conflict or bad. felt nice to be validated in that way.
after therapy i headed down jackson to maybe meet up with isabel. and as i was passing her building she did not respond so i just went to block 37.
the front desk worker is so smiley and happy... literally sooo cute... (microaggression voice) he is so pretty when he smiles. jenna came up right when i was changing.. and i talked to her about my work woes then janna arrived. this was the first time janna and jenna really hung out.
we climbed for a while. janna conquered janna wall and jenna tried out some more new problems on the walls. this time the gym wasnt too crazy busy... but it still was busy enough where we could not climb as much as we could before... after some attempts we got tired. at the end of the sessions jenna saw someone from her high school in michigan which is kinda crazy.
got home and like... did nothing for a bit. was on tiktok for a while.... and ate my boy dinner. thankfully the all hands meeting tmrw has lunch provided.. so i dont have to cook... now i am journaling in bed.. until next time.